The moment i logged in, i smiled. I have missed this page, i have missed this creation which i consider a calling, a way to address my insecurities, my fears, my hopes dreams and opinions.
Hi guyz!!! ..i should say Hi girlfriends.
So i apologize for not writing sooner, i think its all in us to feel un – inspired sometimes, like i have no story to tell, like i have nothing to say. Sometimes i sometimes think you have heard it all seen it all, but,..that’s where i was a few years back. Thinking that i could see it all and hear it all. I was excited.
I will tell a story, i don’t think i have ever told a story, i’m one of those chiqs who just want to sit listen and laugh about what everyone but me is saying .
So..the story is about a girl, she was really happy, obviously loved her father. He was her best friend. But at one point in her life, her dad left and she felt a void in her life, like she just didn’t have anything at all in her hands. Her dad meant everything to her. So nothing ever meant anything to her anymore. She had lost meaning in her life. She loved to impress her dad, but now he was not there to impress anymore. She loved playing around and doing her homework, but not anymore. She began feeling weak. She began falling, for everything that showed her the slightest attention (anything she she could believe in). This meant that she trusted everyone, even those who deserved nothing. She gave herself to whomever made her feel loved and she also gave herself to those who she thought needed her.
You see, this girl had always seen her dad as her hero, she did not need anything more from the world. Her dad made her grow.He was her sun. Now that she had no sun, she felt like her life was all darkness, a cloud that could never go away. She thought that if she helped someone else she would feel better, so she was on a mission to gratify her never ending starvation for attention and love. Truth is, she never could tell the difference, its not like everyone has a sticker on their foreheads indicating love or hate me or evil and good or wrong and right.
After a while, after being beat up inside, fulfilling her wildest fantasies which she thought would forever make her happy, after trying out every drug she could find, and getting as drunk as she could, it just dawned on her, this was not who her father loved. She began hating herself. She began feeling ashamed. She began drilling her heart everyday with all the negative emotions she could think of. She had poisoned her soul with people that never cared about her. People that never loved her. People that only exploited her because that is what she was seeking without even knowing it.
She sat at the park, and she thought to herself, “My dad did not leave me, he raised me so that i could be with him forever”
You see, she had realized that everything her dad taught her everyday left a part of him in her. Every time she learned something, her dad tattooed a lesson in her heart, so that she may never forget. Everytime she fell and her dad picked her up, it taught her how to do it on her own, so that she may never forget how to dust herself off and try again.
She smiled, wiped her tears and walked. She thought of how she had forgotten her dad. How she filled her heart with so many burdens that should never have been. But it had been done.
But this is what her dad taught her, that when she falls, she has to get back up..and continue walking. Her dad told her that she will fall and have a graze, but it will be a scar one day, healed. Even if it left a mark, it always reminded her of what happened, how strong she is and she would never want to fall again. So she always tried her best never to fall again.
When she sees her father again, someday, she knows what to tell him. He is her Hero.
This story taught me how to trust in what God tells you, and even if you are in a tough situation that you feel will never end, always remember what He has taught you, what you learnt, that’s how you know that He hasn’t left you, when you recall His scriptures, His teachings. Always get back up when you fall. never stay down. When you fall you may get an injury, but it will heal eventually, it will stop bleeding and you will always look at it and be proud of where you came from.
I hhope you keep this lesson in your hearts.