SEX TALK

The psychology behind it.

GIRLS ONLY

Girls!!

Hi, yes, sex talk, thats the topic of discussion today.

Well, i am into psychology alot and i love to investigate about human behaviour and th e way we think. I came across this blog online that tries to explain different sexual tendencies and i thought it would be of help to someone. At least if you are sexually active or if you are thinking of trying to be sexually active. This is important. So, buckle up and i hope you get the important points.

 

The link to more is http://www.guidetopsychology.com/sex_love.htm#n10

 

 

If you look in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders),you can find a Sexual Desire Disorder called Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder which refers to “deficient (or absent) sexual fantasies or desire for sexual activity.” The fact that the DSM-IV does not have a Hyperactive Sexual Desire Disorder says quite a lot…

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SEX TALK

Girls!!

Hi, yes, sex talk, thats the topic of discussion today.

Well, i am into psychology alot and i love to investigate about human behaviour and the way we think. I came across this blog online that tries to explain different sexual tendencies and i thought it would be of help to someone. At least if you are sexually active or if you are thinking of trying to be sexually active. This is important. So, buckle up and i hope you get the important points.

The link to more is http://www.guidetopsychology.com/sex_love.htm#n10

If you look in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders),you can find a Sexual Desire Disorder called Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder which refers to “deficient (or absent) sexual fantasies or desire for sexual activity.” The fact that the DSM-IV does not have a Hyperactive Sexual Desire Disorder says quite a lot about our culture. Apparently, we seem to believe that “not enough” is a bad thing, but “too much”—at least, in regard to sex—is never too much.

Nevertheless, some persons are troubled by their sexual desires, especially masturbation. Consequently, the term sexual addiction may be used, but it is really just a politically correct way to make it seem that sexual behaviors are matters for medical oversight and control rather than matters of personal responsibility. The truth is, you seek your identity in sexuality because you have been duped by society into believing that sexuality has the power to redeem your emotional emptiness.

You have been duped especially by the entertainment industry, an industry that has worked subversively through movies and television to glamorize the image of lust in our culture. For example, it may seem on the surface that “the woman” has been idealized, but the underlying motive has been to defile the feminine, stripping the female body of its dignity and reducing it, often with violent overtones, to a soulless sex object.

Psychologically, all this fascination with lust has its roots in the emotional emptiness that a person wants to push out of awareness with the illusory thrill of intoxication. This intoxication doesn’t have to be chemical—even gambling can provide quite a “high.” Why else would we talk about any kind of arousal as getting “turned on” by something?

In the 1950s, psychological researchers began to experiment with the intensely pleasurable effects of electrical stimulation of the brain on animal behavior.One study  allowed rats to press a lever that stimulated the pleasure area of the hypothalamus; the rats pressed the lever continuously, several thousand times per hour, even to the point of collapsing from fatigue. Another study  found that female rats would even abandon their own newly born pups for the sake of the brain stimulation.

And so it is with erotic pleasure. The psychological problem with the intoxication by real or imagined sexual stimulation, therefore, is that the pleasure becomes an end in itself.

In the clinical setting, many persons in psychotherapy will confess that, in their childhood and adolescence, they lacked a clear sense of what they wanted to do with their lives because they did not experience real love and guidance from their parents. As a way to cope with the frustration of being overwhelmed by the obligations of a life to which they didn’t feel any commitment in the first place, they turned to a preoccupation with any stimulation divested of any responsibility or commitment. Thus they got caught up in the meaningless euphoria of an impossible quest for a lost meaning to their lives.

Thus pornography takes on the excitement of the search for a stimulating image. Dating takes on the excitement of the search for a stimulating body. Masturbation takes on the excitement of the search for stimulation itself. But it’s all an impossible quest for the real love that a mother and father failed to provide.

Now, some persons might try to justify their unconscious quest by saying that erotic pleasure is “natural.” That’s the real underlying philosophy to the Marquis de Sade’s writings, for example. And his name—de Sade— provides the underlying origin of our word sadism. It all comes down to saying, “Any body—man, woman, child, or animal—is as good as any other body. Anything goes—even someone’s pain—if it serves your pleasure.”

So there’s the “natural” for you.

Moreover, like all natural disasters, lust leaves nothing in its path but destruction—a barren swath of sadistic or masochistic emotional destruction.

So it is that in the obsession with erotic pleasure you don’t want to see the human destruction it causes. And, as long as you’re intoxicated, you can’t see it. As a result, instead of taking personal responsibility to detach yourself from social illusions, you willingly consume them. You have been duped into believing that you can use your own body to heal your emotional despair. It’s not an addiction that troubles you, it’s cultural brainwashing.

Speaking of intoxication, some persons wonder what effect alcohol has on sexual desire. Well, actually, it has no effect. Alcohol simply deadens the inhibitory function of the frontal lobe of the brain. So while the frontal lobe is trying to tell you, “Stop! This isn’t right!” the intoxicating effect of alcohol intercepts that message and substitutes its own subversive message: “Hey, if it feels good, do it.”

I hope you get it and make the right choice. Next time  will post something on homosexuality because its part of our society’s emerging issue. All the best. Remember to love yourself enough to do what is best for you because nobody else loves you as much as you could love you.

#GIRLSONLY

25 Things Every Woman Should Have By The Time She Turns 25

i like

Thought Catalog

1. Enough confidence to no longer feel the need to justify what she eats, who she dates or what she wears, not only to other people, but to herself. 

2. The goal of a bank account with a few months’ living expenses in it, if she doesn’t have that already. Just in case.

3. Only the phone numbers, Facebook friends, weekend plans, and roommates she actually wants.

4. A best friend who is like a sister.

5. A space of her own.

6. A good idea of what she needs in a romantic relationship, not just what she wants, or what she thinks she needs, and the willingness to explore different people and other ideas to find what exactly that is.

7. A closet of what she considers to be her “staples,” and among these things, something to wear to an interview, funeral, wedding, impromptu Friday night drink at a casual bar…

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I AM THE UGLY DUCKLING

UGLY DUCK

Today was one of those days. When you wake up and almost everything goes wrong. Electricity bill overdue and the tout was giving me a hard time telling me that he gave me my change while in fact he did not talking to me like i was going insane. I am not.

Everything was brighter when i met up with a friend. Time well spent at the art gala and great food, my favourite spaghetti bolognaise and some nice red wine. We talk deep, that’s what friends do, and it led me here,
coupled with Mozart in the background.

frinds

The past few weeks have been gruesome for me, going through the ‘normal’ , which for me mostly is, not understanding people. Being normal is so boring and complicated. That what i say now coz i am just tired of being normal. Then again, i should explain what normal is to me.

Normal is, conforming to everybody’s imagination of what ought to be. Trust me, i have tried and i just do not fit in and i have accepted it with grace, honour and pride.

This is what i think most of everyone does not understand. We all construct our own reality. I use the word construct because it is an idea that we get used to to the extent that we commence to impose this imagination that is rooted within us on other people, i call them the partially  blind fellows. A teacher of mine from high school taught us a great lesson with one of the prophesies from Benny Hinn if my memory serves me right.

thoughts

So many people follow each other anticipating to see what is ahead of them not knowing that the people who led are going into a crater of fire. The multitude is so large that those who are close enough to see it try to flee and warn the uninformed followers, the curious on lookers, they try to push their way back but, there is a stampede because everyone wants to go ahead, just because that is where everyone is heading. So this leaves everyone being tossed inside the crater, nobody can go back. Everyone that falls in wishes  that they could warn the rest  but they cannot because everyone just wants to follow the crowd no matter where it leads

Everytime Mr. Kibati told us this story i always got the shivers. I never wanted to be among those who do not envisage what is ahead. I never wanted to be a follower of any human being’s ideology. I wanted to have my own identity, live my life learn my lessons and be happy.

However, i succumbed to the pressures of pleasing my friends and family because i care about their opinions so much. I believed that family and friends always support each other no matter what the circumstances may be. I stood to be corrected, it happened the hard way.

Trying to live to peoples expectations is so difficult for me. Its a donkeys task. I tried to be social, i tried to talk like everybody else, i tried to think like everyone around me, i tried to live like everyone around me, i almost had the same sleeping posture!

Acceptance is a good feeling. Almost what you feel when you eat a piece of Italian pizza. It so delicious and fresh. Its unique and tasty. I enjoyed it, because i laughed in unison with everybody, i was part of a group! i had finally gained the acceptance i wanted, the acceptance i thought i needed. Well we all know this is heading to…until….

Well, i enjoyed all these until, those i had sacrificed what felt like my whole soul’s value and meaning started finding faults in me. Just like the ugly duckling. I was among the ducklings, i had become part of the pack but i was still ugly. I wondered what i was doing wrong, i spoke like everyone else, i walked and laughed like them, but i still had fault? How?

normal

Long story short, i finally realised that you will never lose the element of ‘your destiny’ (your-self) and everybody who can see what you are meant to be will always find a fault in you because they know you should be different. Its sort of like a push to your destiny. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Be you! Nobody has the same reality. We all construct our own different realities.

I am no millionaire, but i will get there. Right now, there is that someone that will buy an island or buy a Bentley in a day and will find it ‘normal’. This is because that is his reality. That is life to him. Thre is someone who will not eat a meal until the day after tomorrow, do they choose it, of  course not, but that their reality.

We all live in the same world. We all breathe the same air, We all walk on the same ground, but we all live totally different lives and ITS OKAY!

wonder women

Let nobody tell you or treat you like what you desire to have in your life is unbelievable or absurd. Its not! Its YOUR reality nobody elses. Take it and run with it. We all have different ones.

And it all starts with that. Accepting that you are not ‘normal’, you do not have to conform to any human’s definition of what life ought to be. Nobody on earth chose your family or friends. I have this insane idea in my head that we chose that before conception. That every situation we are in was a known unknown and we knew that we could go through it and become stronger and better. It doesn’t matter where you are from or what you are going through.

I cannot complete this without a word from the Bible, it says  that God knew us before conception in our mothers wombs. He says that He knows the plans He has for us, plans for prosperity and not for failure. The Bible also warns us not to give the devil a foothold.

These words explain that God made us as individuals, He knows the number of hair in your head and He knows us by name. He does not group us or refer us to, you humans, no. He knows you by name and He knows the number of hair you have on your head. BEAT THAT HUMAN! 🙂

 

t shirt normal

appreciate yourself..the rest will follow. Be the ugly duckling and own it..normal is so yesterday!

#GIRLSROCK #GIRLSONLY

7 rhinos killed in 7 days raises red alarm levels in Kenya

#handsoffourelephants

ATC News by Wolfgang H. Thome

KENYA’S CONSERVATION FRATERNITY GOES INTO CRISIS MODE AFTER 7 RHINOS KILLED

Reports about the killing of 7 rhinos and several elephant over the last week has thrown Kenya’s conservation fraternity into a crisis mode, with some already claiming that South Africa’s rhino killing spree – more than 600 rhinos have been poached this year in South Africa – is now coming to Kenya too.

The relatively isolated killings of rhinos over the past year, in national parks but mainly on private conservancies, have suddenly spiraled out of control, and some sources insisting on anonymity are blaming the trend on the belated action South Africa is finally taking to stem the tide.

They lost 1.500 or more rhinos in South Africa over the past 36 months. Finally it seems the message is reaching their government and they are throwing greater resources into that fight. But poachers are cunning criminals. They…

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african-elephant African clergy join fight to save elephants and rhinos from poaching

#handsoffourelephants

ATC News by Wolfgang H. Thome

When the faithful hear the message from the pulpit and from their Imam that poaching is as bad as any mortal sin, perhaps it will shake the conscience ofsome who have in the past engaged in killing off our wildlife for profit.
This is a noteworthy initiative and must be commended of course, as well as
the spread of it further into the communities be encouraged.

A group of elephants roam in the wild in Kenya .The animals are being poached for their ivory to feed a growing illegal market in Asia. RNS photo by Fredrick NzwiliReligion News Service: In-depth. Impartial. Engaged.

African clergy join fight to save elephants and rhinos from poaching
Religion News Service
March 26, 2014

NAIROBI, Kenya (RNS) The escalating slaughter of elephants and rhinos is drawing the anger of conservationist clerics, who have begun enlisting church members in the battle to save Africa?s wildlife.

The clerics are driven by a view that these animals are God?s gifts to nature and a critical part of Africa?s heritage.

In Kenya, their concerns heightened in mid-March after the conservation group Wildlife Direct said 16…

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