THE LIFE OF A 23 YEAR OLD ME.

                number23-14

Can you imagine, 23 years Old. Got me thinking, what have i done all those years! I was in High school just the other day, well it seems like it. I was listening to music, like i always do most of the time before the day ends. Right now im listening to Slow Motion by Trey Songs, I love the Video. It’s a song that has a guitar playing in the background, and i love guitars.

Like my previous post, i believe music brings out alot in us at least in me. So this song got me thinking of how the beats that have been incorporated consist of drums and actual claps and it makes a great song when Trey sings.(Thats’s in my head, ignore it)

I have been thinking alot about this post, I have actually written a paragraph and deleted  it after running out of ideas or maybe not believing in it as i should.

I have however resulted to type my way to the end on this one.

Lets get started. My inspiration for this post was drawn from alot. First of all the fact that i am not getting any younger. Its a phenomenon that i am still dealing with. I’m still learning what ageing gracefully really means to me. I decided to just write some of the things that i have experienced, if not for every other girl out there, for me, because i know i will read this some time in the future and  i will enjoy reading it. Its like looking at old photos of myself. Today we have soft copies of them..sigh.

These are some of the experiences i have had up to this point and just like Brok Akil(Being Mary Jane’s producer)  made clear from the first episode of BMJ,  who i respect so much for her creativity, this post does not necessarily portray all 23 year olds, just me 🙂

1. EVERYONE IS GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING BABIES!

download (1)

Or at least that’s how it feels man! I have girlfriends from High School and from Campus creating human beings and its such a beautiful thing but it’s so scary for me. All i’m thinking is..i can’t even think of having a boyfriend right now. I know i always ask where THE guy is but i know that i’d hesitate dating at this point. It feels lonely and at some point confusing because i feel  liberated and so happy spending my time as i wish, not considering any guy when i plan my day. I then ask myself, will i be like this till i’m 30? and then be the only one who’s old and single?! just a thought..

540622081_kim_kardashian_wedding_dress_made_by_vera_wang_1_xlarge

It’s just a confusing time when it’s about relationships.

2. I LOVE BEING SINGLE SO MUCH!

This is how i view a guy asking me to agree to  a relationship with him

5c3615cdbbe6cc67fd00cb81bffa9446

Of course NOT! lol I broke up two years ago, i have been single ever since. It has been a time to heal  and just get my mind right about boys. It also was a time for me to reconstruct myself, get to know what i really like and what i don’t. The last relationship, i thought would be that one which results to marriage , but..I DODGED THAT BULLET! and i am grateful because i  have learnt alot about myself. And it also gave me a sixth sense when it comes to new guys, i notice all the qualities i do not want from the get go.

The best part, you don’t have to put anybody in your schedule everyday, and i understand that when in a relationship spending time with your partner is the best time of your day but..i’m just not there yet. Not yet. I’m happy being my own.

3. BOOKS!

I am OBSESSED with reading self help books.

tumblr_static_books

I honestly had a really hard time reading any book that wasn’t on the course list or in the library for a long time, but, i fell in love with two books and i  had to get them.

It took me a long time and crossing fingers hoping nobody else buys them, because the seller only had one copy of it and the other i was just eager to start reading, but when i finally purchased them, i haven’t been able to let them go. One is ‘Life Lessons from the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ by Robin Sharma and the other is ‘The Ideal Lawyer’ by Ambrose Weda(a lawyer based in Kenya) They are two books i cannot get enough of, i read them every chance i get, i am almost done with Sharma’s book and i can say that it has actually helped me learn what i needed to learn faster,. it has given me the confidence to actually say that I am a work in progress.

The Ideal Lawyer had literally been published at the right time, when i had all these questions you can not ask everyday but they are always on my mind because i want to learn how to become the best lawyer  can be. I appreciate the book very much Sir Ambrose very much. Thank You. I am making it a goal to get him to come to school and give us a talk.

4? SCHOOL DOES PAY

images

All those years and some people still say all these nasty things about school and the most shocking thing is some of them actually mean it. In Primary School, where it starts, in my case, some ended up dropping out. Well, i do not have the luxury of dropping out from school for sure because i know both my parents would  have my head! It’s sad that some people actually hate school and i don’t get it.

It’s agreeable that sometimes i just want to be home or somewhere else but i know if i did that everyday, i’m sure i wouldn’t be as happy deep inside. Negatives aside, school pays because i have had the chance to meet so many amazing people who are still in my life, that inspire me  so much and keep me going. I have had experiences in my life that i know i’d never get anywhere else. and i applaud school for having accorded that opportunity to me.

5. ARE BIG BOOTIES A TREND?

I am very petite okay. Yes, small “bootey” if you may. In my twenties, i have had my share of watching so many videos with chiqs with really big behinds, then, all of a sudden, the web world is full of big booties, and then..it goes as far as being insulted by being tagged a skinny B****’ ! hurts doesn’t it. It hurts me.

notaWAR

Let me make this clear before i get called out on this, i do not hate big behinds, i actually think i like them, watching them..but, anyone thinking its wrong to have a small frame is crazy.Lets just accept..the world would be a boring place without diversity..yes, even in that. Nobody should ever feel that they are better because of their body type, its like racism! Accept that we are all different otherwise young girls who haven’t had the self confidence yet will get injections to get a bigger one just like when some have dark  skin and bleach their skin to get lighter skin.Same thing.

6. WEIGHT GAIN!

When we are still on big behinds, my weight drastically went down ever since i came back to Nairobi, i was 46 kgs last time i checked and that’s shocking! I want my 54 kg weight back and i just don’t know how to do that! Trust me i eat EVERYTHING any time i’m not too lazy to take care of myself. My body just wont gain anything..HELP..ANYONE!?

7. D.

No. Its not what you’re thinking.

images (1)

It’s a friend of mine.. and i just have to appreciate him because he has always been someone i can rely on. I can always talk to and feel that i have made a wise decision. He helps me just get my mind right really. He is amazing.

It’s really rewarding and fulfilling having someone you can count on. i’d say a guy who you can talk to and really respects you goes a long way. a long way. Shout out to Him. I know he’s not reading this 🙂 Thanks alot for being..here.

7? SUITS, HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER, BEING MARY JANE

Suits-image-suits-36723220-1280-720Being-Mary-Jane-Returns-Tonight-0203-1

These are three series that i honestly cannot get enough of. I could watch them over and over and over. They  make me step away from reality abit and revive my dreams by showing me that you can actually have what you want, you just have to keep working towards it and never let yourself be boring!

MV5BMTQyMzE2NDY0MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMDYyMTE5MjE@._V1_SX214_AL_

8. PSYCHOLOGY

It’s an interest that i gained in campus after the  criminology classes.

After we learned about the ID, Ego and superego, i just cannot get enough of the self concept and how to master yourself. It’s a phenomenon that i would want to teach but first learn in detail. Very interesting.

Is it a coincidence that our firm project is on career development and my part is about the five stages of career development , it involves the self concept (okay,Donald Super said that its SELF CONCEPT, he hated that people put a ‘the’ before it and said there is no such thing). I am excited about it.

9. LOVE

670px-Get-Your-Crush-to-Like-You-(Girls-Only)-Step-1

Not now. But, i do feel like i love some people, i am that confused! and this is why i cannot think of a relationship, because i do not even know what i want yet.

I will say this though, Anyone that loves you treats you right, will never push you into anything but will woo you to it (win you over),they will respect and support your ambitions, they make you a better person, they will always want the best for you and will always care about you and your well-being.

That is all.

10. NO MAN!

Jim Carrey (i miss watching him, reminds me that i have never watched bruce almighty) he had this movie called Yes Man, where he played a character that would say yes to everything but worked out really bad afterwards.

I struggle with disappointing those i care about so much and sometimes end up hurting myself in the long run. I am still trying to figure a way out that hurts me less or not at all as well as makes those that i care about understand. D has always tried to teach me to do what is best for me, it’s really hard though.

11. PEACE OF MIND

I learnt how to have peace mentally.

Sharma quotes in his book that it is important to have a moment of silence everyday so as to be able to be at peace with yourself. Its true, i was out of touch with myself a long time. I have grown to appreciate my thoughts and feelings in time, just appreciating that i occupy space and that i need to be calm and at peace with myself first then be at peace with the world. It has helped.

Just learn how to know what you feel at a particular time and make a choice not to or to to feel it,negative especially. Be in touch with your inner being, we are all very different and how i could react to events is not the same way you could. Identify yourself from the rest.

12. FAMILY

Always Always Always, never forget your family. I spent yesterday with my granddad and, the time we spent together talking, nobody can equate that to anything else, he was just from surgery. I could have frozen time at that point. Really. I love my family so much and it’s just the best thing knowing that you have the same blood flowing within us.

13. NOT EVERYBODY DESERVES YOUR TIME AND SPACE

This is another one i am struggling with. Because i love being around people i consider my friends, its really difficult knowing who is truly your friend and who is a foe.

I continue to learn that not everyone you consider a friend considers you a friend and, being an introvert, and knowing that i do not click fast enough with people, it makes me think that when i do, then that is a true friend. That applies for some of them. Some use this strength you have to get into your skin and just treat you like garbage. Don’t let them.

Having been taught that tit for tat is not how i’m supposed to live, its difficult to know when to draw the line because i value the few i have alot. Its still a journey.

14. MONEY IS NEVER EVER ENOUGH

Just work for everything you want.

I want an apartment, loft-like because i like big space plus i cant stand sleeping alone in a house with many rooms i  can not look into and you know what, i have to really earn alot of cash for that. How…?well, learn everything i’m supposed to, work at MMC Africa, enjoy my work and earn my money then buy off that apartment because i don’t want to think of rent every month and i”m not sure i am patient enough to await completion of construction of an apartment from scratch.

And do not compare what you get with anyone (although hard for competitive spirits like me) use it as motivation and not to feel bad about yourself. But just be yourself do not duplicate someone else, its ugly.

15. LOVE WHAT YOU DO BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WILL

This long/short i have lived, i learn from everything from the clouds in the sky, the birds, the train that passes by, the bodaboda(mode of public transport on a motorbike) guy that picks me, the drivers, touts, my little sister kayla, my brother and just everything.

I never aspired to become a lawyer but this is where i am and i love it. I however struggled with the fear of everyone that aspired to be one since childhood being better than me. One day i just realized how stupid it was to wish to be somewhere else when i had actually been accepted to law school(which seemed like just another course to me but learnt later on it is a noble profession enviable and a huge  responsibility) just like them, admitted, took on the same exams, attended the same classes, ..point is, if i was not living my moment, who was?

I refuse to become that old woman who regrets everything on her death-bed. You should too.

This is part of what i have encountered. I will be here ageing for more.

I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS.

…..To be continued.

GIRLS ONLY!

Advertisements

WHAT MUSIC DOES.

Well i was  going through my emails today and i bumped into this article that i had written a long time back…hope you all like it.

Listening to music brings out so much.Music should be used everywhere. Especially in class. I know for fact that it would bring the highs of everyone, most of us. When I listen to music, I listen to my heart. I listen to my body, to my brain. There’s that song that everyone wants to listen to when you are hurt, or sad, disappointed,expecting something, when you think about someone, or something..You know, that song, those songs you want to listen to when you feel a mess.

Theres that song that will always be right there for you anytime, everytime. Right now, where did he go. That’s a song by Miss. Keri. What it makes me feel…like I need myself. I need myself to be strong. Like that time I lost uncle and I had to just accept it coz I was a mess. I needed someone to hold me and tell me that it would be okay. We all need something to hold on to and cry to sometimes. We are all human. Where did he go is that song that makes you feel like there’s nobody there when you need them so bad that time. At the same time, it makes you feel so strong. It makes you feel like you have you by your side. It’s that song that makes you grab a pillow and wallow but after releasing all those tears, you feel so empowered.

Dissapointments follow us now and then.. it pains. Visualizing that ten year old girl who wants a bicycle but mum says that she can’t have it. She just goes to her room and cries her all. It’s not much to ask, its not the end of the world, but not getting what you anticipate to get can be a bummer sometimes. That boy who wants the best of the best watch for his birthday and doesn’t get it. It hurts. For these moments, those songs that make you feel like a Spartan are the best. You feel like you conquered death or something.laughing. You know what this does, it changes the gear from one to five. From a zero to a Ten ladies.
PARTY!! Now who goes to a party without music. We all go wild and dance to that beat. The happiness and the joy cannot be expressed. That togetherness with that black ice or that cold tusker and those that are anti alcohol with their novida . This music makes us go to the wildest height of the feeling of friendship. I do not advocate for alcohol but if you can remember, the pilsner adverts that had friends eating choma together and drinking or the men’s challenge which just disappeared had that feel. It just made the whole advert look so, warm. It brought people together.i always sang along..MILELE…MILELE..Tusker my beer excuse my voice though. That coca cola advert that had a family clap for the mom..it went..you are the one….i loved that song. Made me cry, yea, im sissy like that.

What im trying to say here….music is part of us. Part of me. And it brings every nation, every race, every colour together. Because we are simply just human and we all feel. This is how we are all one blood.So next time you listen to a song, write down what you feel. You will be amazed.

XOXO
GIRLS ONLY

Why I Don’t Love My Fiance

love.

Michael J. Pittman

In 130 days I’m getting married, and a friend recently asked me why I love my fiancé. I wanted to share a deeper perspective on Amanda and I’s relationship, so before I answered why I love her, I had to first explain to him the reasons I don’t love my future bride to be.

I came to two conclusions:
First is, I don’t love Amanda for what’s on the outside. I know. It sounds cheesy, it sounds sappy. This perspective is not a novel idea by any means. How many times have you heard someone say, “I don’t love you for what’s on the outside. I love you for what’s on the inside.” But that brings me to my second conclusion.

I don’t love Amanda for what’s on the inside either.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are many things on the inside and outside that I love about

View original post 888 more words

BEST FRIENDS ARE FOREVER.

still …

GIRLS ONLY

im-sorry

Hi everyone…

Today has been one of those eventful days, and i do not mean that in a good way. I ate really good food today though, because my mum cooked, she is such an amazing cook. I hope to beat her at her game.

Well today something happened to me and it triggered this post. I was thinking, still thinking about a really good friend of mine and it hurts. I think i haven’t been a good friend back.

I would like to talk about what real friends are. I really wanted to do a poem but i think a blog will describe everything in detail.

So my friend has been there through my thick and thin.  I will make this short before i start feeling like i’m so fake i could crack. I believe less is more and i HATE talking too much, not unless im close to…

View original post 591 more words

Devolution in the health sector; the issues at the County level

using for my dissertation. thanks

herafkenya

HERAF, between 30th July, 2014 and 1st August, 2014 held a training targeting health workers from Runyenjes and Manyatta sub – counties in Embu County. The training, held in partnership with the Embu County Health Management Team, was meant at increasing awareness among health care workers on the right to health, including its realisation in line with the Constitution of Kenya 2010, imparting knowledge among health care workers on the human rights- based approaches in health services provision and providing a forum for the health care workers to interact with the County Health Management Team, including the County Executive for Health, County Director for Health services,  and the Chief Officer, Health.

The Issues

From the prevailing discussions, it was clear to see that devolution of the health sector is facing several challenges. These challenges include but are not limited to the lack of clarity in the due process for…

View original post 679 more words

BEST FRIENDS ARE FOREVER.

 

im-sorry

Hi everyone…

Today has been one of those eventful days, and i do not mean that in a good way. I ate really good food today though, because my mum cooked, she is such an amazing cook. I hope to beat her at her game.

Well today something happened to me and it triggered this post. I was thinking, still thinking about a really good friend of mine and it hurts. I think i haven’t been a good friend back.

I would like to talk about what real friends are. I really wanted to do a poem but i think a blog will describe everything in detail.

So my friend has been there through my thick and thin.  I will make this short before i start feeling like i’m so fake i could crack. I believe less is more and i HATE talking too much, not unless im close to you then you know i’m a big mouth.

Friends are those that are always there to listen to whatever you have to say no matter what it is because i sometimes go on a rampage and text random stuff for hours. A friend always replies to that or just lets you burst their phone with as many texts as possible.

 

download (1)

Friends are those that look in your eyes and you can immediately tell what they are thinking. Their eyes tell a story, of how they are, no need to ask.If you ask, you will certainly get a real answer. I ask ‘how are you’ to know how someone is fairing and i expect a whole story. I hate ‘fine thank you’ as a response.

Friends are those that make you laugh so hard because of silly little things or because you haven’t said anything at all any time of the day or night. Look at each other and just laugh so hard.

Friends look out for you and care about you no matter how hard they try to show that they don’t give a rats behind about how you are. You tell them you miss  them and they go..how do you expect me to respond to that?

images (4)

 

Friends call you by another name other than your name, most of the time, because they can and its more fun that way. Nobody should just pick up when they call because immediately you pick up its just profanity, no greetings.

Friends comfort you when you are about to cry. When you act like mary jane and tell yourself to stop it! and not cry, they are the ones you can call to keep you strong because they will ask you to man up or just make fun of you. They are a call away.

download (2)

Friends just look out for you and protect you. You feel that someone is holding your hand through everything, literally and hypothetically. They walk with you, both worlds, in your heart and on the streets of Nairobi, not caring what the world will say about your friendship due to the difference in race or religion.

Friends dance with you, laugh with you, hug you and hold you because they feel everything you feel. They feel your pain, your happiness, your anger and your resentment. They feel everything without saying anything or just saying a little.

Friends talk about everything. private and general. They know where you are and at what time and with who. They know what you like and what you love. They know who you want and who you don’t. They know when they push too hard and when they push you towards the top.

Friends always want the best for you. They always get mad watching you make the wrong decisions all over again. They always don’t get why you do not see what is ahead of you. They always have hope in you that is as big as the titanic. They know what is best for you but they never overstep their boundary even if they know they should.

Friends will always mourn for you and smile with you. They know that they will always have you and vise versa.

And it is beautiful how one person just sucks every emotion out of you. It is chilling how much you worry about a  person because of the unknown. It is heavenly how you know that you always have someone in your heart even if they left.

 

download

I love you so  much.

BestFriends Are Forever.

 

#GIRLSONLY

 

 

 

SEX TALK

The psychology behind it.

GIRLS ONLY

Girls!!

Hi, yes, sex talk, thats the topic of discussion today.

Well, i am into psychology alot and i love to investigate about human behaviour and th e way we think. I came across this blog online that tries to explain different sexual tendencies and i thought it would be of help to someone. At least if you are sexually active or if you are thinking of trying to be sexually active. This is important. So, buckle up and i hope you get the important points.

 

The link to more is http://www.guidetopsychology.com/sex_love.htm#n10

 

 

If you look in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders),you can find a Sexual Desire Disorder called Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder which refers to “deficient (or absent) sexual fantasies or desire for sexual activity.” The fact that the DSM-IV does not have a Hyperactive Sexual Desire Disorder says quite a lot…

View original post 793 more words