I celebrated my twenty-sixth birthday this year surrounded by my fam and friends. I think the most memorable thing was that it was my friends exclusively from church save for Carol and Vero who I have known since I was four and my grandmother, at my grandmother’s. This year, just like when I turned 23, I planned on blogging about the 25 things I have learnt by 26.
I have to record that I finally passed the bar exam and took a course in legislative drafting, I hope I will be drafting some laws soon. I also took up a program dubbed thirty by thirty which was created by a couple called the Mumo’s. I like the class but I feel like an outsider mostly. I hope I apply the lessons there throughout my life otherwise my money and time would go down the drain. I have grown to appreciate personal development classes. They engage my mind and keep me occupied on the weekends. I feel that at least I am growing my knowledge outside my career or rather, the academic classroom.
So let’s get to it;
- Don’t hold on to things that don’t matter
Everything is fleeting. That is what the Bible says, I consider everything as garbage. That doesn’t mean that you don’t treasure everything around you, it just means that everything is temporary and you shouldn’t hold on to it like your life depends on it..especially those that don’t matter.
- Find out what matters
Of course, to avoid holding on to what doesn’t matter I had to find out what matters to me… I am still adding to the list but what matters the most to me is peace which I get from my faith and prayer. Something else that matters to me Is family(those that support each other not tear each other down) and friendships…and with them, memories. Making memories matters to me a lot and that can be in any form, making the most of time.
- Find joy in everything around you
It has to be deliberate. You won’t find joy in everything unless you purpose to. It can be hard especially on a rough day, but you will always look out the window on your way home and see something funny or beautiful like the sky or just the surrounding, or the fact that you are actually going home. There’s a lot of joy everywhere you look, just be intentional about seeing it and you will.
It can be in any form. For me, it’s by teaching. I find joy in giving, and since sometimes I have no money to give, I give what I have, the knowledge and wisdom I have learnt over the years. I might not be eighty years old, but I’m not going to wait to see if I get to eighty so that I can share abit of me with the world, because this way, others learn and live.
- Free your mind
From anything that entangles it, especially the past. They say the only reality you have is now, a second past that is a memory. I spent a lot of years rethinking what could’ve been and what could be if I made certain decisions differently and punishing myself for decisions I made which may have resulted in unfavourable ends. However, I will never know the other side of the story, that is gone and I can do nothing about it..even the future. All I can do something about is Now. Letting go of what if has freed my mind. Especially knowing that someone up there knew exactly what decision I would make and still chose to love me.
- Take care of yourself
Mind Body and Soul. That included emotionally and spiritually. It’s your responsibility and nobody will ever do it for you. I realized that nobody in this world understands me as much as I do myself. They do not know my needs and they will not always be there for me because they are human. Taking care of you is what you owe you.Its all you can do for a peace of mind and good health.There are different ways to do it even reading books for me is taking care of myself, my mind and soul, buying myself stuff, which I had been unable to do for a while is taking care of myself, surrounding yourself with like-minded people and people you learn from, joining clubs or classes which you want to learn from or interact is taking care of you.Always.
I have had the pleasure to through work and partly leisure and there is something refreshing about being in another country or place you have never been and realizing that it places change but you remain the same. It makes you grow in a way because you know that the possibilities are limitless for your soul. Meeting people of different cultures also uplifts you and the beauty in that is indescribable.
- Work hard – work smart
It cannot be emphasized more. Working is inevitable. I have come to terms with it. That s what we took from the fall. To be honest, it also makes me feel good and productive..which is what I love. Work is fulfilling and I am grateful I can say that.
- Just do it!
Procrastination has been a big one for me. I sometimes delay doing stuff because I think I have time, but in this year of change, I just get myself to do whatever I would want to.It is the best feeling yet. Because it boosts my energy to tick another box and another.
- Don’t let anyone mess with your money
People will take you for a ride when it comes to your money especially being young in your profession. So uninformed about how to negotiate and what to ask for especially with the little responsibilities. However, I am learning how to speak up for myself and state my price. Of course, do not be deceived that you can be paid money that actually compensates you for the time and effort…it never will be enough, but make sure, to do your research on how much people get paid and don’t be afraid to ask what you think will motivate you to do the work. I have found that when work is for free, I get lazier by day to do it, or when the terms are not clear.
- Count your blessings
Errday, one by one. Especially when you’re not too happy. Just take a pen and paper and write down what you are grateful for. There will always be someone who has more and someone who has less than you..so you will always have something to be grateful for…those are your blessings.
Because it records all your thoughts and creates memories when you read through in the future. Nobody is taking a video of you everyday so…write, for you and all that want to read your work or your musings.
- Invest in valuable friendships
I will say that again, invest in valuable friendships, people will pretend to be your friend…many of them..but I have noticed the old friend..the ones you have had longest will understand you the way no other friend will. I am notorious for keeping friends I knew at four years old and I love that..they are valuable to me because time is valuable to me..plus friendships that grow you are the ones you should be keen on.Friends who look out for you, those that advise you on money and what to invest in, those that listen to your bad days..those that know you..because many don’t know you..even when you think they do.
- See yourself in others
Never think yourself as better than anyone else. That is what humility is..and that is what you are called to do..to humble yourself. Do not judge those who sin differently from you..and always put yourself in someone else’s shoes, because that is what being human is..it could have been you..remember that.
- Be thankful for every day
For everything..bad and good..because life is made of the bad and the good. I believe that sometimes bad things happen to remind me that I am human and also to pull me closer to God and my faith..they also toughen my skin and prepare me for the future. S be thankful for each day you see that sun when you open those eyes because you are alive.
- Don’t give up on your dreams
No matter what. Because they hold you together. Without something to hope for or live for, what is life? No matter what people say, hold on to that dream to your cheat and guard it with all you have…and take steps towards living it..because one day you will.
Because its what you do best, because you are the architect of your life, you are the artist and dreams are the colours. Without the dream, what direction are you taking? You can be swayed here and there. So have dreams…they make you, you..they give you something to live for.
Because it gives comfort, and clarity, and company. He is the only one that’s always available. It gives you peace and makes you know and feels that the problem is half solved. You are human, you need a supernatural ..and that’s how you get the supernatural power to work.
- Build a network
…Of people you can call for anything.Information, or to give work or to be given work. It helps a great deal. They say sometimes, is not what you know, its who you know. It’s true.
- Do not be afraid to change
Everything changes, everyone changes let nobody lie to you..because we grow and that’s change. I was afraid, still abit afraid of change because I don’t want to alter the person I am because I think I’m okay..however, I realized that if I want to fulfil my full potential, its necessary. If I really want to be the person I always dreamt about, that change has to take place. Its gradual, but God has put people in my life to push me above and forward towards it.
- Live a good life
Because it is what you will ask yourself as you die.. I know I will. A good life doesn’t mean perfect, it means a life that I am proud of..a life that is worth talking about.
- Believe in yourself.
Because even if the world believes in you and you don’t in yourself, it counts for nothing. I have experienced this a lot, when people praise me for something but in my heart or head, I don’t think they are what they say..and you see..all that encouragement doesn’t work on me…I have learnt that if I don’t believe in myself, then, I will always think someone else deserved it or can do it..but the truth is.. I did it and I should believe in my abilities and strengths and work on my weaknesses. I am worth it.
- Take what is yours with pride
Being modest about stuff is a good thing. However, I have learnt that I should indeed pat myself on the back for a job well done or an achievement and take it with pride. It doesn’t mean that I should look down on others or think myself as better but to acknowledge that I did what I set to do and not be shy about being excited about it. It’s okay.
- Dress up
Because life is too short not to. So when else will you? What are you waiting for?
Because this way, you are sowing seeds even without being a mother. Children can come from you or go through you..that’s a quote from collateral beauty.. I think. It taught me a lot,, that I do not have to be a parent to feel fulfilled or productive. I am not saying I don’t want to be, I am saying that I don’t have to wait for that time since we never know about tomorrow..what we have is now.
Those are the 25 lessons I learnt by 26. I hope you keep them and grow them too.
Until next time… GIRLS ONLY baiby!!!!! 🙂